Christmas 2014 Holiday Status Message:

Please note that in line with my usual practice, I have left my laptop at work and I won't be checking any work emails while I am away. I'll also be disabling the work email account on my phone, and hiding the app icons for Mail and Twitter. It's not you, it's me. Really.

As a requirement of my annual performance review, I will be spending part of my holidays working on the following essential workplace skills:

• task management (by learning to juggle three balls)
  
• improved multitasking (by mastering Tuvan throat singing of two vocal lines, as demonstrated in this video, but certainly without anything like the same skill)
  
• clearer diction (by acquiring the ability to do an alveolar trill)
  

While you wait to see/hear the results, you may wish to read my latest imaginary article abstract.